That moment together

About commitments, intention, and what really matters

Wednesday night, sit down, write things up, review, edit, review again, publish, go to bed. Smooth. Easy.

That was the plan. It didn't work.

Why?

Because we have a baby, and although over the last two months I have managed to keep showing up and do this, this week it became a colossal task, taking me until the early hours of the following day, in order to fulfil this weekly commitment.

It was a reminder not to take for granted any spare hour, or even minutes, that are given to me (by him). Just like they say on The Bear: "Every second counts," and today that feels twofold. Every second that you have available for you, for free, use it or lose it.

And that's probably it. If there's something that I can take out of today, is that

• Focus and intention. Want to do it? Then be clear on what it is and go for it the second you have the time, so it is not wasted by dwelling on how to use it.
• Commitment. I have now lost track of how long I have been doing this weekly publication, and I like it that way, because it is not about that, but about the fact that is happens EVERY week, no matter what, and it will continue that way until what now feels like forever. I want to look back and struggle to remember for how many years I've been doing it — "Is it 5? 8? 10?" — And to get there, you have to commit, no matter where you are in the world, the time, or how many times you have to put down your cute baby to sleep. I made a commitment and I'll abide by it. I'll honour it. I'll honour and respect myself.
• It won't always be like this. And this is important to remember for two reasons. The first one, the challenges of today will continue and will be very prevalent for a while, but eventually things will become a bit more stable, sleep more regular and time a bit less scarce. Just a bit. At the same time, the second reason — the most important — is to be present. He will only be this small once, we will only live this night this way once, everything that is right now is temporary, because that's the whole nature of life, and failing to realise it and, by consequence, risking missing it or sacrificing it for something else is simply foolish. Be here, be present. Commitments and responsibilities are important, but the biggest responsibility is to be there with him, making sure we are both living that moment together.

The rest can always wait, because nothing else really matters as much.