I Wish

And always will...

I miss you. A lot...

My mom was telling this story about you today, of you showing up with these two massive bags of diapers the first time you went to visit us, because, as she always says, since the first time you knew I was on the way, you said you would be my godfather.

As she was telling the story, I could immediately imagine you, with your big smile, your playfulness and that big energy, a big aura that you had, as big as you were tall. I can hear your voice in my head right now. Man, do I miss you.

That's truly all I remember of you every time you come to my mind. This big presence, physically, but also in my life. This big person, full of love for me, full of smiles, full of good things.

"Hijado", as you used to call me. "Padrino", as I used to call you, and I always will.

I wish you could have met him. I wish you could have been in his life, even just a little bit; you would have been the best with him. He would have loved you, just as much as I did. I just hope he gets someone like you in his life, someone who is willing to spend time with him, in the same way you did with me.

I miss you, so so much.

We needed more time, but I guess we all do, right? Time is never enough; that is a thing, that is a problem.

I always thought there would be a next time. Actually, I didn't think about it at all. I just assumed it would be the case. I took it for granted.

I wish you could have come here and visit and see the life I've built. I wish you could have met her, you would have loved her, and she would have loved you. I just know that.

There are so many things I wish I could tell you. So many things.

I wish I could have seen you one more time.

I wish I could tell you about the things I've done, the things that I'm doing, the places I've been, the things I've seen.

I wish you could see who I have become. I know you would be proud.

I miss you, Padrino, so so much.