Cutting peppers

About balance, joy and always thinking what to do

In a world that is constantly pulling you in, busy, noisy, messy, rushed, on the clock. A world that, if you are not paying attention, can easily make you forget who you are, what you like, and even what you value; awareness is not only important, but indispensable.

My days right now are... unusual.
I'm taking a six-month sabbatical to spend time with my partner and our newborn. So, my sole focus is to spend time with them and enjoy every second of it. A dream. It is, and it has been.

That said, life is still running its course, and although I don't have to deal with office life and corporate nonsense, there are still plenty of things to do. Chores, groceries, bills, washing (which multiplies 3x with a baby), cooking, and a long etcetera that encompasses modern life.

On top of that, if you are like me, there are (plenty of) other things that are on your radar. From going to the gym, looking at new jobs, moving to another country, taking care of parents, writing, journaling, and the gazillion ideas that visit your mind on an hourly basis.

It's a lot.

It's exciting but also overwhelming, and if you don't pay attention, it can consume your existence, I say that as someone who has been there, and has been very cautious not to go back.

A few days back, I decided to try a new recipe, and my immediate thought was "I have 3000 things to do", and I went through all of them. Suddenly, cooking this dish became "probably not the best idea". For a second, that felt like minutes; my brain went out visiting every one of the scenarios and tasks that I could be doing instead, but I didn't caved.

Besides, I already have said I was doing it, and we needed to eat either way.

The moment that I started to cook, everything else went away. Suddenly the noise went quiet. And everything was fine.

I remember cutting peppers and feeling like waking up from a "trance", as I often call it. It was like breathing deep and realising this: this is life, and these are the things that are important.

Been there. Done that. No Bueno

I always remember a time, many years ago, when I was working on the startup I founded shortly after finishing my master's and moving to Scotland. I became obsessed. Which was both good and bad, like many things.

Good, because I have never felt so focused in my life. No hesitation. Decisions were made easily because priorities were crystal clear, and although it did not materialise in the product and company that I envisioned, it definitely laid the ground for the following chapter of my career, which ultimately became the foundation of the life I have.

But I also only worked, and while not working, I was thinking about it, and thinking about the things I had to think about. It was a lot, and I have to confess that I loved it, but it was a moment in time, not something sustainable in the long run.

The bad was at the end of that same year, sitting down, looking back, reviewing, reflecting, and realising that I had seen less than 12 movies that year. This is something that for some people might be ok, even irrelevant, but when you love movies, and you know how much joy they bring you, it is a staggering number. Shocking even.

Think about the totems from the movie Inception. Is the only way for the characters to know what's real or not. If you are dreaming or in the real world.

That number was my totem. I had removed myself from one of the things I enjoyed the most, in the name of work, productivity, and focus. Focused, yes, but anxious. Anxious like you have no idea.

I became obsessed with maximising every single minute that I neglected myself. It was realising that the things I was putting away, those movies, were the things that made me smile, have me joy and filled my soul.

Back then, it took me a year to notice. This time, it took a few minutes in the kitchen, because the reality is, there will always be things to do and responsibilities to fulfil, but they are not all there is.

Those things that bring us joy, that keeps us balanced and at peace, no matter how small they, and indispensable. They might not feel like adding real value, because they don't translate into what we define as productivity or don't have any money attached to them. But taking the time to do those things, and feeling the joy they bring, will ultimately carry into any work we ever do, but most importantly, into life.